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Recently, I've been swelled by this feeling of deep melancholy...
I'm simply confused about the purpose of my whole life.
I see these pictures of old friends, and I learn that they're having various activities and so on...
And I feel this huge sense of absence.
Where am I in these friendships and relationships now?
I simply can't get rid of that subtle ache deep down in my heart...
As time goes by, this ache keeps growing, and it's totally out of control now... I can't overcome it....

Where am I?
I'm far away.
I look ahead, and I see myself drifting... drifting alone, drifting further and further away from those whom I love and care so much about.
And I hate this feeling, I truely do.

So I start contemplating upon this issue.
But the more I think about it, the worse I ache, and the deeper I fall into this state of melancholy....

This never ends, does it?
I'm not sure now, I'm not sure about anything...

This summer, I'll say goodbye to my friends in Sweden, go back to Taiwan, and say goodbye to my friends in Taiwan.

When will I meet these people again?
Will I EVER meet these people again?
Will I forget or be forgotten?
How much am I missing? How many things are slipping through my fingers?
What am I sacrificing for this new life which is shortly going to begin?
There are so many activities I want to paricipate in, so many memories I long to accumulate...

But I can't.
Why?
Is it because I have better things to do? Will I have a brighter future?

What am I doing?
Why am I not there?
Why, why, why.......